Hello, My Name Is Norm
Nov. 5th, 2012 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dr_tectonicI am quite fond of elephant jokes.
I'm a fan of absurdist humor in general, but elephant jokes have a special place in myheart funny bone. I have a little book of them that I've had since I was a kid, and back in the day, I had a file with a whole bunch of elephant jokes in it, and a separate file with all the punchlines, and whenever I sent an email, I had a little program that would select a random joke, and then select a separate random punchline, and add them to my message as a signature.
A proper elephant joke takes the form of a question and answer, viz:
Often they come in sequence, with a kind of internal logic and structure.
So.
As I have mentioned elsewhere, I dyed my hair purple a week ago. It was starting to fade, so I recolored it yesterday, and it looks pretty good. I also managed to get some decent pictures of it today.
Which means I can finally share with you my Halloween costume.
But in order to do so, I will have to tell you a few jokes, because the costume is conceptual in nature.
Thus:
Why are elephants colored gray?
So you can tell them from canaries.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
"Here come the elephants over the hill."
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing dark glasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
What's the difference between an elephant and a grape?
Grapes are purple.
What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
"Ooo, look at all those grapes!" (She was colorblind.)
How do you tell an elephant from a grape if you're colorblind?
Jump around on it for a while. If you don't get any wine, it's an elephant.
This is my Halloween costume. What am I?
I'm an elephant... in disguise!
How can you tell?
Because I look nothing whatsoever like an elephant!
I'm a fan of absurdist humor in general, but elephant jokes have a special place in my
A proper elephant joke takes the form of a question and answer, viz:
Why do elephants eat peanuts?
Because they are saltier than prunes.
Often they come in sequence, with a kind of internal logic and structure.
How many elephants are there on a Nurndy team?
Eleven. Two borks, six forwards, two wopplers, and a goalie.
Why are elephants so much better at Nurndy than humans?
Because they wopple better.
So.
As I have mentioned elsewhere, I dyed my hair purple a week ago. It was starting to fade, so I recolored it yesterday, and it looks pretty good. I also managed to get some decent pictures of it today.
Which means I can finally share with you my Halloween costume.
But in order to do so, I will have to tell you a few jokes, because the costume is conceptual in nature.
Thus:
Why are elephants colored gray?
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing dark glasses?
What's the difference between an elephant and a grape?
What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
How do you tell an elephant from a grape if you're colorblind?
This is my Halloween costume. What am I?
How can you tell?
no subject
Date: 2012-11-06 01:41 pm (UTC)Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
you left out my two favorites
Date: 2012-11-06 01:58 pm (UTC)What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
Elephant grape sine theta
What do you get when you cross and elephant and a mountain climber?
Nothing. The mountain climber is a scalar.
no subject
Date: 2012-11-06 02:39 pm (UTC)all the jokes I know involve the scottish and sheep.
no subject
Date: 2012-11-06 03:53 pm (UTC)Though I did guess your costume correctly. \o/
no subject
Date: 2012-11-06 04:22 pm (UTC)Indisputable logic sir!
no subject
Date: 2012-11-06 04:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-06 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-06 06:47 pm (UTC)This is my Halloween costume. What am I?
HAWT.
no subject
Date: 2012-11-07 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-07 02:44 am (UTC)What do elephants use for tampons?
Sheep.
I feel like I'm 11 years old now.
no subject
Date: 2012-11-07 03:33 am (UTC)Re: you left out my two favorites
Date: 2012-11-07 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-07 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-09 05:23 am (UTC)You can see their footprints in the butter.
And the classic...
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't get down off an elephant, you get down off a duck.
So, how do you get down off a duck?
Use s teeny-weeny little ladder!