(no subject)

[dr_tectonic]

Quick update: I'm sad, but coping. Lots of crying with relatives today. Probably more crying tomorrow. Taking a break from crying right now because I don't want to get dehydrated.

I hadn't really thought about it before, but there are a LOT of things you have to do when somebody dies. Tomorrow is funeral arrangements.

Thanks, everyone, for all your comments, condolences, and sympathies. They mean a lot.

(And hey, I discovered an entirely new way to get comments: family tragedy! Sorry, sorry, loss brings out my black humor streak...)

Comments

[portlandpiglet.livejournal.com]

I've always thought that we (civilization) should figure out a way to improve on the unfairness of having to deal with logistics when a loved one passes away. It really isn't the time you want to be dealing with funeral arrangements, estate taxes, and family politics. And yet, that's how its set up.

btw: Black humor is what got me through my last couple of funerals.

[dcseain.livejournal.com]

"I hadn't really thought about it before, but there are a LOT of things you have to do when somebody dies."

Major understatement, Dude. Though a good funeral director can make it all go very easily, save the will, which of coures depends on the probate laws in CO, and the executor. Best with it all, it is tedious and time consuming, especially on top of all the rest.

[melted-snowball.livejournal.com]

I've not had a parent die, so this is without that direct experience, but I expect that for me, the logistics (with the exception of the family politics) might be something that kept me going.

I'm at my worst when I'm upset and spinning my wheels wondering what I'm supposed to do next. "Go call the florist." "Now go buy an outfit for him to be buried in." would be a godsend for me.

But I remember my mom being somewhat overwhelmed after her mom died in this way.

Fundamentally, though, death just sucks.

[thetarnishedowl.livejournal.com]

Yes, there are a lot of things to do.

Two tidbits, borne from recent personal experience:

Insist on proofing the obit and the handout for the service (the "folder" I think they called it.) We found mistakes in both for Dad.

If you have a really good photo of your Dad, get it and put it in the file you'll be creating to hold all the stuff you'll be getting. The photo will come in handy in a number of ways - the obit (costs more, but worth it); guides the funeral director; and on display during services.

Yes, digging into details can actually help move you through this process.

Hang in there. You didn't get to rehearse this. You'll do fine.

[dr-tectonic.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the advice. We also have a gajillion of family for all of it, so I think the flood of details is less overwhelming.

[bigreddee.livejournal.com]

Darlin', I missed your post yesterday, and I know the last thing you want is another comment with a cyberhug, but unfortunately, that's all I can offer from afar.

*BIG HUG*

[dr-tectonic.livejournal.com]

Actually, the comments with cyberhugs are kind of nice, so shush and accept a *HUG* in return. Thanks.

[mason5280.livejournal.com]

**HUGS** My father passed away 18 years ago suddenly as well. Sending positive thoughts you and your family's way.

[mason5280.livejournal.com]

**HUGS** My father passed away suddenly 19 years ago - I understand. Sending positive energy you and your family's way.

[mahannie57.livejournal.com]

Adding my thoughts and prayers to you and your extended family.

Take care of yourself.

[dr-tectonic.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Mel.

[dr-tectonic.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[pr-bear.livejournal.com]

Sometimes black humor is necessary, or any type of humor, hell have a drink while your at it lol. I send my condolences, :) *warm hugs from PR*

[dr-tectonic.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I appreciate it.