dr_tectonic: (TAMC)
dr_tectonic ([personal profile] dr_tectonic) wrote2009-11-04 07:42 am

Quadrature

So, back when Greg & Jerry & I formed a triad, Alice asked me if we would ever consider adding a fourth.

I remember saying that I didn't think it was completely out of the question, if we ever met the right person and all that, but we certainly weren't planning on it. I mean, three is plenty!

Of course, Jerry & I didn't plan on adding Greg, either; as with all the long-term poly relationships I know of, it just kinda... happened.

Um.

It, ah, kinda just happened... again.

I blame Simon Pegg.

See, when I became a fan Mr. Pegg & his works, I started frequenting the forums at peggster.net. And Robb was one of the lovely people I got to know from that crowd.

Then, July of last year, I went to Comic-Con. And among the many on-line friends I got to hang out with in person was Robb, and I discovered that not only is he quite handsome, he's also a real sweetheart, and charming, and so on, and truth be told, I fell in love with him a little bit.

Fast-forward to a couple months ago. I've made plans to take some vacation and go visit people in L.A., one of whom is Robb. Greg starts chatting with Robb online, and falls for him. Hard.

And it turns out that when I met him at Comic-Con? Robb also fell in love with me a little bit. And with Greg. And with Jerry.

So that's interesting.

This is all complicated, of course, by the fact that right now Jerry's in Japan. Greg and I promised him before he left that we wouldn't replace him with a goldfish, and while Robb's no goldfish, we don't want to replace him with a Robb, either, for a multitude of reasons not least of which is that Robb wouldn't stand for it because he likes Jerry, too. We need our Monkey!

Thus, the plan was for us to go visit Robb in L.A. (because by now Greg was going along with me) and evaluate things, but to take everything very slowly and cautiously while we figured out whether and how things might work.

And of course the universe completely failed to cooperate with that plan, and demanded that we choose, right now, go or no-go.

At this point it gets all complicated and messy and difficult, and there was a lot of stress and uncertainty and not a few tears over the last few weeks, and I won't go into the details now. But we worked through it, and the upshot is that we've decided to see if we can make it go.

And, yeah, it could still all end in heartbreak and tears. There are no guarantees. But NOT trying was definitely going to end up there. So we're going to give it a shot, because love is worth taking chances on.


So long story short, there's this guy, his name is Robb, we think he's pretty awesome, and last night he got on a bus and now he's on his way here to join us.

And we're looking for a house.

...and how was your weekend?

IMG_5782

[identity profile] toosuto.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I love you guys, you are awesome. Good luck house hunting!

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 03:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

When you have more time and we have more money, I'm gonna have to commission an update on the TAMC picture...

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[identity profile] toosuto.livejournal.com - 2009-11-04 16:01 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] jofish22.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 03:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Congratulations! More love all round all good.

Now.... how do you solve the bed problem with four people?

[identity profile] saintpookie.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Very carefully. ;)

A very large master bedroom and two queen sized beds, something to cover the gap and custom made sheets. That's what I'm thinking anyway.
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[identity profile] tdjohnsn.livejournal.com - 2009-11-05 03:27 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] melted-snowball.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
What! I'm shocked!

Oh, wait. That probably won't fly, will it. :-) Hope all's well.

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 12:50 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks! Things are well, and we're doing the work to keep them that way.

[identity profile] derbiser.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I think toosuto summed it up best:

"I love you guys, you are awesome. Good luck house hunting!"

Also: I know an awesome realtor; let me know if you want contact info.

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! All the responses have reminded me how incredibly awesome our friends are.

What region does your reltor work in?

[identity profile] bikerbearmark.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay! You guys are teh awesome. Who could blame Rob - or anyone, for that matter - for falling for you?

As for not taking it slow, sometimes you just see a good thing and know it's worth the risks. I don't know the backstory on you guys, but John and I met when he was in a tough financial situation and moved in together less than two weeks later. I tell him I recognize a bargain when I see it; he insists he's the lucky one. 12 years later we're still inseparable.

Sorry we didn't get to see you guys when you were in LA! I was off on the wrong coast schmoozing with the mobile healthcare technorati and attending my college's GLBT Reunion. If I'd known you were going to elope I would have sent flowers!

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

I saw your updates, so I knew you were otherwise engaged. Glad you had a good trip!

[identity profile] ng-nighthawk.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 04:21 pm (UTC)(link)
The house down the block from us is $140,000. It's the same as our house, without the great room.

And congrats, of course.

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
We'll look into it! We'll look into everything, I'm sure...

Thank you!

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[identity profile] da-lj.livejournal.com - 2009-11-05 01:39 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] martini-tim.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Congrats Beemer, and good luck with your foursome!

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks, Tim!

We may have to start a club to exchange logistical tips.
ext_28944: (i carry your heart)

[identity profile] goddessdster.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course my first thought was, "But how are they going to sleep?" I think it's sad that my concern regarded sleeping and not any of the other stuff.

None of which has any bearing on the fact that I love you and hope whatever you choose brings you happiness. And that I agree with this: love is worth taking chances on.

Right on, my friend. Right-fucking-on*.


This comment brought to you with bonus italics, which are only slightly less annoying than bonus exclamation points.
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (Hot Fuzz snuggles by iconsbycurtana)

[identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
"But how are they going to sleep?"

In piles. *nods*

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[identity profile] ubermunkey.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
good god dude
some times its an effort to stay with just one
let a lone a foursome! WOW


[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
Three has actually been easier than two was. We'll see how four compares.

I think we're just wired funny. :)

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[identity profile] 0nce-and-future.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Congrats and best wishes to all 4 of you making a go of it.

I look forward to meeting Robb next time we make it out Denver-way.

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks, Rob!

Sorry we had to introduce a name collision with you. ;)

But sometimes we pronounce 'Robert' French-ish, and call him Ro-bear.

[identity profile] coloskind.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
uhm. ok. the house next door is still in forclosure.. :)

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
Too far north! But thanks! :)

[identity profile] aadroma.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
That's an adorable pic ^_-

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you, sir!

[identity profile] detailbear.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay! Good luck to all of you.

So, is it three heading for Japan at Christmas, now?

Maybe get a round bed and sleep radially! ;-)

HUGSSSS

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
Not unless we win the lottery. We're not sure yet what Robb's holiday plans will be, but we'll work something out.

Thanks!

[identity profile] bear-left.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Wishing you guys all the very best - how wonderful!

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
It is. Thanks!

[identity profile] walrusjester.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Huh. Wacky. Good luck and have fun!

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you, sir!
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[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
Our lives would make for really BORING television. They'd have to edit together years worth of footage to get any drama out of it.

Thanks! *multi-hug back*

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[identity profile] da-lj.livejournal.com - 2009-11-05 02:15 (UTC) - Expand
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (Boosh It Does Look Good by Zeeexitos)

[identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Hi, Robb! *waves*

[identity profile] flwyd.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 08:05 pm (UTC)(link)
...and how was your weekend?

Dressed like a pirate, danced a bunch, ate chocolate I'm allergic to, killed a dozen hobgoblins, saved an alcoholic dwarf and a clumsy human, failed to save a grizzled old soldier. Much less exciting than yours.

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds excellent nonetheless!

I have failed completely to keep pace with all the D&D email, but will get to it soon. I'll have to get a recap, too!

[identity profile] snowninja7.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Congratulations to all!

I'm voting for the radial bed solution; sound more entertaining. ;)

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

I think the radial bed is a lot more entertaining than it is practical...

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[identity profile] snowninja7.livejournal.com - 2009-11-05 03:09 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] thedragonweaver.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Y'know, this is why hospitals need to have "Designated Family Members" as a category instead of spousal units. Have it on file that child/sibling/parent/friend/clan counts as "spouse" for hospital purposes, then there's none of that stupid "but that's not policy" stuff that goes on.

(P.S. You've heard the saying, "The plural of spouse is spice," right?)

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah. One advantage of going to 4 is that at least we can pair up on paper...
ext_28944: (pegg and frost-love close up)

[identity profile] goddessdster.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, and also...

Not that you need it, but bonus points for snagging a Pegg-head!

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
INORITE?!?!!

[identity profile] crantz.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I was jealous for a moment, because I was like 'three! If I had that it be three people to get things off shelves when I'm too lazy to get up/get a stool!'

I may be missing the point of romance.

Congrats, dude.

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks, man!

And having somebody willing to do things for you just because you're feeling lazy is actually quite romantic.

[identity profile] zalena.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
Congratulations! You know you guys are a bit ahead of the legislative curve for this kind of thing, right?

Wishing you every happiness.

-S-

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

We are a bit ahead of the curve, it's true, but not any more so than we were before...

[identity profile] tdjohnsn.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
I bet Robert Heinlein's house (it is somewhere in the Denver area) has already been sold. Wouldn't that have been cool, or what? :-)

[identity profile] dr-tectonic.livejournal.com 2009-11-05 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I dunno-- if a famous author's house were selling in our price range, there would have to be something DRASTICALLY wrong with it... :)

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