Too Secure
May. 31st, 2016 08:30 pmExasperation of the day: We have a new benefits reporting system of some kind at work that I can't use because it is too secure. I honestly don't know what all it does, because I can't register to use it.
The problem is, I literally cannot answer enough security questions to finish the registration.
There are 18 questions to choose from. You need to pick 3.
9 of them flat-out do not apply. I have no children, so I can't use a question about my firstborn.
Of the remainder, there are 2 of them that I have a straightforward answer for. (Though I had to think a bit to recall what it was.)
There are 4 of them for which I could probably come up with an answer, but the odds of me coming up with the same answer several months from now are not good. What was the name of the street I lived on when I was a kid? Well, I remember the name of the street, but was it a Way or Circle? Or nothing at all? And I can't look it up to check, because it no longer exists!
And then there are the 3 questions that I do have an answer for, that I can recall fairly easily, but that I can't use because the correct answer is either too short or too long! Because, oh yes, all the answers must be between 6 and 20 characters long, letters and numbers only, no spaces.
Sure, I could abbreviate one of the too-long answers, or use some variant of "not applicable" for an N/A one, but it's got that same reliability problem: in six months, will I remember exactly how I answered the question with no good answer? Given my lousy track record at remembering how various other infrequently-used passwords are capitalized, I'd prefer not to have to rely on it.
So I think the next time I see the head of the computer security group in the lunchroom, I'm going to sit down next to him and ask him what their process is for password recovery when the user can't get their security questions right. 'Cos that's gonna be me if I ever forget mine.
The problem is, I literally cannot answer enough security questions to finish the registration.
There are 18 questions to choose from. You need to pick 3.
9 of them flat-out do not apply. I have no children, so I can't use a question about my firstborn.
Of the remainder, there are 2 of them that I have a straightforward answer for. (Though I had to think a bit to recall what it was.)
There are 4 of them for which I could probably come up with an answer, but the odds of me coming up with the same answer several months from now are not good. What was the name of the street I lived on when I was a kid? Well, I remember the name of the street, but was it a Way or Circle? Or nothing at all? And I can't look it up to check, because it no longer exists!
And then there are the 3 questions that I do have an answer for, that I can recall fairly easily, but that I can't use because the correct answer is either too short or too long! Because, oh yes, all the answers must be between 6 and 20 characters long, letters and numbers only, no spaces.
Sure, I could abbreviate one of the too-long answers, or use some variant of "not applicable" for an N/A one, but it's got that same reliability problem: in six months, will I remember exactly how I answered the question with no good answer? Given my lousy track record at remembering how various other infrequently-used passwords are capitalized, I'd prefer not to have to rely on it.
So I think the next time I see the head of the computer security group in the lunchroom, I'm going to sit down next to him and ask him what their process is for password recovery when the user can't get their security questions right. 'Cos that's gonna be me if I ever forget mine.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-01 02:40 am (UTC)I just left it in the parking lot of the shopping center at the bottom of the hill and took the shuttle up to work so I wouldn't be late for my meeting. After work, Jerry helped me get the donut spare on and followed me as I puttered home at 40 mph. I'll go get a new tire tomorrow morning, no big.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-01 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-01 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-02 04:08 pm (UTC)Except for some sites, for which "I forgot my password!" is just a routine part of how I access the site.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-02 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-02 03:05 pm (UTC)"let's get to know each other meme... tell me the name of your first dog, what street did you grow up on, who was your best friend in school?"
OMGWTFBBQ!!!! these memes are all my security questions. Well played internet thieves, well played.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-02 04:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-01 03:24 am (UTC)First pet: armadillo
First street: armadillo
Mother's maiden name: armadillo
or maybe link it to the website. NSFarmadillo
N.B.: mine is not "armadillo".
no subject
Date: 2016-06-01 03:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-02 03:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-01 03:50 am (UTC)For bullshit like this, I tend to use 1Password's ability to give random answers to questions and save them (it saves both the question and the answer) — much like it does with a password.
Seriously though, those that employ these schemes really don't know jack about security. I bet they make you change your password ever 6 months to a year as well. ::sigh::
no subject
Date: 2016-06-01 03:59 am (UTC)(Seriously, who has foods they hate ~secretly~ and would never admit to hating? Yeah, that makes it unsearchable, but who ARE you that you live like that?)
I think the root problem is not the questions themselves, it's the decision that this system warrants that level of security.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-02 04:05 pm (UTC)And for whom is this a unique descriptor?!?
no subject
Date: 2016-06-13 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-01 04:24 am (UTC)http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/small-town-living
It sort of fits with my favorite joke.
You don't have to use your turn signals. We already know were you are going.