Happy Cat-Out-of-the-Bag Day!

[dr_tectonic]

Sooo... just in case anyone was still unclear on the matter after Jerry's post:

kung_fu_monkey and I have a boyfriend! The three of us (me, him, and saintpookie) are, as the kids say, "an item".

It wasn't really planned, it's one of those things that just kinda happened. Greg just sort of... fits. So we're giving a three-person relationship a try.

Hmm. I guess this means I'm polyamorous. (You may feel free to make witty comments about latent mormonism.)


Anyway, this is good. Very, very good. He has moved in with us, and we are happy, and we hope everyone else will get to know him and like him as much as we do.

...Well, okay, maybe not quite as much. Then I might have to fight you.

P.S.: yay!

Comments

[melted-snowball.livejournal.com]

That makes a lot of sense. [In particularly, the good smacking you across the face when you least expect you; I'd probably put it as "God moves in mysterious ways..."]

I can certainly accept that someone might use the phrase "I am poly" to mean "I generally don't have monogamous relationships," or even "I never have monogamous relationships." But the latter of these seems somehow hard for me to believe in. Again, though, *shrug*. Probably some people think of their attraction to redheads as an identity. Feh.

Poly

[baronet.livejournal.com]

Certainly Poly is a label, and therefore you shouldn't make too many assumptions without more details.

While poly is a looser label than some, all labels have some squish in them, as demonstrated by the number of lesbians I know who met the guy that was the exception for them. Amy, for instance is a confirmed lesbian and tomist: she is attracted to girls and Tom. Should she describe herself as bisexual? Lesbian is 99% accurate, and she's happier if guys she meets treat her as a lesbian rather than bi, even if she's very happy with Tom.

To pick an example of poly as an identify as opposed to a descriptor of a current state: A friend of mine would feel uncomfortable promising monogamy even if he isn't currently involved with anyone else, or even looking. To do so would be a misrepresentation of himself. Kind of like someone can be gay even when they are not currently involved with anyone.

Poly as a label is useful, even if it is a subset of some other label, like non-vanilla, or a superset of another label, like "In a triad". It is good to exchange coming out stories, hear about the rules and experiences of others. It is good to hear about the legal side of poly with wills and kids and stuff. How and when do you say "wow, you're awesome, you should meet my wife"?

Oh, and BTW CONGRATULATIONS to Beemer & co.

Re: Poly

[melted-snowball.livejournal.com]

Thanks--that's a useful perspective.

[I've always tried to be supportive of other people's identities, even where I have a hard time understanding them. Maybe from the outside looking in, it feels like this is a pot of things that don't have coherence, where from the inside it might not. I'll have to think more...]