I just finished one of those doorstop books w/ flowers on the cover about lovers lost in WWII. I usually like enjoy kind of thing, but this book deserved to be thrown against the wall. I've lost patience with the "one true love" theory, mostly because I don't want to think I've blown all my chances.
Hooray for Bellwether! I'm so glad to you're enjoying it! I still feel all gross from reading the flowered book. No more flowered books for me! I think it's time I finally tackle Don Quixote.
In theory, bisexuals could be attracted to both sexes, but their "One True Love" would be one sex. You are implying that to be fulfilled a bisexual must have romantic relationships with both sexes.
However, OTL is in fact crap in the sense that everyone has a single person who they are Meant To Be With (tm). Two people can find themselves drawn together time and again, certainly, in a way unusual enough that seems fated and I certainly don't discount fate entirely, but ultimately its the two-directional commitment and work at the relationship that transforms a person into your lifelong love. Fate can set you up. . . but it can also set you up again and again with different folks. You bothEveryone involved must choose to accept the continuous challenge of a lifetime commitment or else its futile, no matter how amazing the circumstances of infatuation were.
To clarify: if OTL is true, it implies that there is for everyone a One who is the perfect match and can fulfill all of their partner's needs and desires completely. The existence of people who desire more than one gender is therefore argument against OTL.
Naturally, that doesn't mean that you can't be fulfilled with a single person no matter what your desires are -- just that it's silly to think there's some individual that's going to meet ALL needs and desires...
Ah, see, I forgot that the OTL implies one person fulfills all needs. Bah, we've spent too much energy on this concept merely by disputing it. I dismiss it entirely to the Realm of Bad Myths.
"One True Love," please take your place between Hard "Work Will Make You Succeed/Failures Have Not Worked Hard Enough" and "Blink Tags Make Web Sites Cool."
There was a study I remember reading about recently (Mmmm, vaguely referenced studys... Feh, it would take to long to look it up, and confirm its methods, and and and...) that indicated something like your first point. the Bi-s in the study enjoyed sexual attraction toward both genders, but some deeper emotional kinda somethin'-somethin' was always directed one way or the other, not both equally. Anybody else see this, or am I making up studies in my sleep again?
Was it that New York Times thing? It caused a bit of a furor because many people were interpreting it as "if you're not 50-50 bisexual, perfectly balanced in your attractions, you're not bisexual at all", which is just silly. By that standard, 1/3 of the men in the study were *A*sexual, because they didn't respond at all.
Anyway, as I commented to Neal, my point was not that all desires must be met for fulfillment, but that expecting one person to fulfill all desires (as OTL implies) is silly and, for some people, impossible.
Indeed. It (the theory) seems to necessitate one of two things: that all supposed choice is illusion or that true choise exists and that no one could ever find their one true love at this point in history because the fallout from even one life-long not-my-true-love would be catastophic and there have been many.
Hi. We haven't met. But maybe at an anime night sometime if you continue to go. I'm Bryree, or Bryan, or Hey, you.
B - I will probably be at anime night again, especially if it means I get to see the rest of last exile.
Dr. T - Sorry to bring up OTL. I didn't mean to start a discussion, I was just merely stating why the book was annoying.
My friend T and I once had a discussion about the dreadful movie Reality Bites, (Ethan Hawke and Winona Rider, *shudders*) which we both really liked when we were younger. He mentioned seeing it again, and how awful it was viewing it 10 years later.
"That's because she chose the wrong guy!" I said. (Ethan Hawke vs. Ben Stiller was a no-brainer even 10 years ago.)
"But that's the whole point," he replied. "She chose the right guy for her at 23, which fairly obviously wasn't going to be the right guy for her at 30."
Oh! Please don't tell me that "Reality Bites" is awful now! I really liked it way back when. This doesn't bode well for "Footloose", which I just put on the NetFlix queue after getting nostalgic hearing some of the music done live (on a company cruise to Mexico, if you believe that).
Also, bah on OTL. Though I could live with the "222 true loves" theory. That would give you an average of 3 or so a year. Anything more than that might be construed as greedy.
What a shame! Not seeing Footloose that is (though being romantically challenged is also a bummer). I can't imagine that it would be very good without nostalgia to draw you in.. you can get a good idea of what it is by knowing that the songs from it were done in a musical montage with songs from Saturday Night Fever, Fame, Dirty Dancing and Flashdance.
Do you think that there is a LJ conservation law going on here? The shorter the post, the more comments it generates?
Did I say I was romantically challenged? I hope not! (Though I'm running short on my OTL quota for the year.) I meant the OTHER romantically challenged people.
I've also not seen SNF or Fame. You do realize all these movies have a dancing theme.
You only implied romantic challenges, and I'm pleased to hear that you are not impeded by such ;)
I did notice the dancing connection, which I think is part of the reason that they did them as a musical review, but there is also a certain theme of teenage angst, passionate OTL and wonderfully cheesy 80s music (not sure about SNF, since I haven't seen that one, myself). Many of the same things that I liked about Reality Bites, actually. I think I'm beginning to see why my brain decided to go down this route..
Ooo! Be sure to let us know whether Footloose has any value beyond nostalgia. I remember it quite fondly, but I was, what, 12 at the time? The details I can remember from it do not lead me to believe that it was a cinematic gem...
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dr_tectonic
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Date: 2005-08-17 12:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 01:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 03:06 pm (UTC)I just finished one of those doorstop books w/ flowers on the cover about lovers lost in WWII. I usually like enjoy kind of thing, but this book deserved to be thrown against the wall. I've lost patience with the "one true love" theory, mostly because I don't want to think I've blown all my chances.
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Date: 2005-08-17 03:17 pm (UTC)"One true love" is asinine.
Feh on One True Love!
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Date: 2005-08-17 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 03:57 pm (UTC)However, OTL is in fact crap in the sense that everyone has a single person who they are Meant To Be With (tm). Two people can find themselves drawn together time and again, certainly, in a way unusual enough that seems fated and I certainly don't discount fate entirely, but ultimately its the two-directional commitment and work at the relationship that transforms a person into your lifelong love. Fate can set you up. . . but it can also set you up again and again with different folks.
You bothEveryone involved must choose to accept the continuous challenge of a lifetime commitment or else its futile, no matter how amazing the circumstances of infatuation were.no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 04:07 pm (UTC)Naturally, that doesn't mean that you can't be fulfilled with a single person no matter what your desires are -- just that it's silly to think there's some individual that's going to meet ALL needs and desires...
So yeah, we're in agreement.
Hey, and thanks for the strikeout! =)
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Date: 2005-08-17 04:27 pm (UTC)"One True Love," please take your place between Hard "Work Will Make You Succeed/Failures Have Not Worked Hard Enough" and "Blink Tags Make Web Sites Cool."
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Date: 2005-08-17 08:11 pm (UTC)(And if you throw "hair dye" at me, I'll throw "sex-change surgery" at you, so don't go there.)
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Date: 2005-08-17 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 04:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 04:24 pm (UTC)Anyway, as I commented to Neal, my point was not that all desires must be met for fulfillment, but that expecting one person to fulfill all desires (as OTL implies) is silly and, for some people, impossible.
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Date: 2005-08-17 04:43 pm (UTC)Wait a sec...I didn't respond to that study...oh, shoot..
One true love, bah!
Date: 2005-08-17 04:02 pm (UTC)Hi. We haven't met. But maybe at an anime night sometime if you continue to go. I'm Bryree, or Bryan, or Hey, you.
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Date: 2005-08-17 06:43 pm (UTC)Dr. T - Sorry to bring up OTL. I didn't mean to start a discussion, I was just merely stating why the book was annoying.
My friend T and I once had a discussion about the dreadful movie Reality Bites, (Ethan Hawke and Winona Rider, *shudders*) which we both really liked when we were younger. He mentioned seeing it again, and how awful it was viewing it 10 years later.
"That's because she chose the wrong guy!" I said. (Ethan Hawke vs. Ben Stiller was a no-brainer even 10 years ago.)
"But that's the whole point," he replied. "She chose the right guy for her at 23, which fairly obviously wasn't going to be the right guy for her at 30."
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Date: 2005-08-17 08:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 07:38 am (UTC)Also, bah on OTL. Though I could live with the "222 true loves" theory. That would give you an average of 3 or so a year. Anything more than that might be construed as greedy.
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Date: 2005-08-18 07:51 am (UTC)And Reality Bites still has its moments, Janeane Garafalo is in it! But it, like Singles, is definitely a product of its times.
I have never seen Footloose.
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Date: 2005-08-18 09:40 am (UTC)Do you think that there is a LJ conservation law going on here? The shorter the post, the more comments it generates?
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Date: 2005-08-18 09:58 am (UTC)I've also not seen SNF or Fame. You do realize all these movies have a dancing theme.
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Date: 2005-08-18 10:27 am (UTC)I did notice the dancing connection, which I think is part of the reason that they did them as a musical review, but there is also a certain theme of teenage angst, passionate OTL and wonderfully cheesy 80s music (not sure about SNF, since I haven't seen that one, myself). Many of the same things that I liked about Reality Bites, actually. I think I'm beginning to see why my brain decided to go down this route..
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Date: 2005-08-18 04:28 pm (UTC)It has been hypothesized, yes indeed.
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Date: 2005-08-18 04:30 pm (UTC)