Hooray for Bellwether! I'm so glad to you're enjoying it! I still feel all gross from reading the flowered book. No more flowered books for me! I think it's time I finally tackle Don Quixote.
In theory, bisexuals could be attracted to both sexes, but their "One True Love" would be one sex. You are implying that to be fulfilled a bisexual must have romantic relationships with both sexes.
However, OTL is in fact crap in the sense that everyone has a single person who they are Meant To Be With (tm). Two people can find themselves drawn together time and again, certainly, in a way unusual enough that seems fated and I certainly don't discount fate entirely, but ultimately its the two-directional commitment and work at the relationship that transforms a person into your lifelong love. Fate can set you up. . . but it can also set you up again and again with different folks. You bothEveryone involved must choose to accept the continuous challenge of a lifetime commitment or else its futile, no matter how amazing the circumstances of infatuation were.
To clarify: if OTL is true, it implies that there is for everyone a One who is the perfect match and can fulfill all of their partner's needs and desires completely. The existence of people who desire more than one gender is therefore argument against OTL.
Naturally, that doesn't mean that you can't be fulfilled with a single person no matter what your desires are -- just that it's silly to think there's some individual that's going to meet ALL needs and desires...
Ah, see, I forgot that the OTL implies one person fulfills all needs. Bah, we've spent too much energy on this concept merely by disputing it. I dismiss it entirely to the Realm of Bad Myths.
"One True Love," please take your place between Hard "Work Will Make You Succeed/Failures Have Not Worked Hard Enough" and "Blink Tags Make Web Sites Cool."
There was a study I remember reading about recently (Mmmm, vaguely referenced studys... Feh, it would take to long to look it up, and confirm its methods, and and and...) that indicated something like your first point. the Bi-s in the study enjoyed sexual attraction toward both genders, but some deeper emotional kinda somethin'-somethin' was always directed one way or the other, not both equally. Anybody else see this, or am I making up studies in my sleep again?
Was it that New York Times thing? It caused a bit of a furor because many people were interpreting it as "if you're not 50-50 bisexual, perfectly balanced in your attractions, you're not bisexual at all", which is just silly. By that standard, 1/3 of the men in the study were *A*sexual, because they didn't respond at all.
Anyway, as I commented to Neal, my point was not that all desires must be met for fulfillment, but that expecting one person to fulfill all desires (as OTL implies) is silly and, for some people, impossible.
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dr_tectonic
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Date: 2005-08-17 03:17 pm (UTC)"One true love" is asinine.
Feh on One True Love!
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Date: 2005-08-17 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 03:57 pm (UTC)However, OTL is in fact crap in the sense that everyone has a single person who they are Meant To Be With (tm). Two people can find themselves drawn together time and again, certainly, in a way unusual enough that seems fated and I certainly don't discount fate entirely, but ultimately its the two-directional commitment and work at the relationship that transforms a person into your lifelong love. Fate can set you up. . . but it can also set you up again and again with different folks.
You bothEveryone involved must choose to accept the continuous challenge of a lifetime commitment or else its futile, no matter how amazing the circumstances of infatuation were.no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 04:07 pm (UTC)Naturally, that doesn't mean that you can't be fulfilled with a single person no matter what your desires are -- just that it's silly to think there's some individual that's going to meet ALL needs and desires...
So yeah, we're in agreement.
Hey, and thanks for the strikeout! =)
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Date: 2005-08-17 04:27 pm (UTC)"One True Love," please take your place between Hard "Work Will Make You Succeed/Failures Have Not Worked Hard Enough" and "Blink Tags Make Web Sites Cool."
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Date: 2005-08-17 08:11 pm (UTC)(And if you throw "hair dye" at me, I'll throw "sex-change surgery" at you, so don't go there.)
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Date: 2005-08-17 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 04:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 04:24 pm (UTC)Anyway, as I commented to Neal, my point was not that all desires must be met for fulfillment, but that expecting one person to fulfill all desires (as OTL implies) is silly and, for some people, impossible.
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Date: 2005-08-17 04:43 pm (UTC)Wait a sec...I didn't respond to that study...oh, shoot..